Pick your brain request

You’re at a networking event in the middle of an engaging conversation. Suddenly, the person you’re talking to suggests getting together to pick your brain. Now what?

What’s your quick gut response when someone wants free access to your brain?

• Ignore the comment.
• You want to turn and run.
• You say yes when you really want to say no.
• Eager to explore the opportunity.

Your response is critical. It’s easy to think the other person put you in this situation. Your reply, however, has nothing to do with the other person. They only made a request. Really, this is all about you.

Here are 4 factors which influence your reply:

• Beliefs. These are your rules of engagement.
• Emotions. Either you’re seeking to relieve discomfort or to experience pleasure.
• Expectations. Be wary of the shoulds going through your head.
• Communication. Do you say what you mean or regret what you say?

Say what you mean

It’s possible to say what you mean, even if you don’t know how (yet). Accounting professionals who are tired of saying yes when they mean no are able to turn things around. This change, similar to any other change, starts with a decision.

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When I’m working closely with accounting professionals, we follow these 5-steps to say what you mean.

1. Detect. Uncover the belief.
2. Decide. Explore an alternative belief.
3. Detach. Release the emotions which are connected to your core belief.
4. Discover. Replace the negative with the positive.
5. Design. Create your new response.

Connect with your value

Beliefs and value are deeply connected. Discovering your value is empowering. Then you’re deciding on your terms about whether to continue the brain picking conversation, or not. Your terms set a crystal clear boundary regarding your time, scope and possible business opportunity.

Growing a successful accounting practice forces you to look at yourself. You will discover some old beliefs and values which conflict with your growth and success. Instead of shying away from these moments because they’re uncomfortable, and you’ve always done things a certain way, view them as a self improvement and growth opportunity.

I love helping my clients remove the burden on an old belief and then replace it with one better suited to them. This is like shedding an old, ill fitting coat and then replacing it with one custom designed especially for you.

Remove the trigger

Frequently a response, like saying yes when you mean no, is a triggered response. Regretting what you said immediately after is a clue you don’t know how to say no to people. Clearing the emotions connected to your belief is how we turn this around. What’s really cool is how quickly and easily this is accomplished. You’ll be amazed by the difference when you let something go which has been haunting you for decades.

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Follow this advanced move which is frequently overlooked. Removing your old response creates a void. You’ll want to fill the gap by replacing the old with the new. Remember – new things require practice (and patience).

Rewrite your script

The final step is like being the director of your own movie. You edit out the portion of the script which wasn’t working. This is your chance to rewrite the script. What would you take out? What would you change? Your time has now arrived to choose your new response.

Someone asking to pick your brain is inevitable. I view those picking your brain requests as a compliment, showing they value my opinion. This doesn’t, however, mean I continue to allow unlimited free access to my brain. The decision is not an automatic yes. Discover how to say no to someone without being rude.

Access to my information goes from free to fee. I love to share the free stuff, because this starts to build a relationship. It’s like the sample tasting stations you see at grocery stores.

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The people who only want to pick my brain get the least results. People value what they pay for. The more invested, the better the results. The decision to highly invest in yourself is transformative. Have you noticed that too? So next time someone wants to pick your brain, say what you mean with grace and ease.

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